my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
His nipple licking is glorious
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