When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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