dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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