I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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