just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
