I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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