You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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