I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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