it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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