so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
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Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
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