What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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