Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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