I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
