you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Randomize
