Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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