How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
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The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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