awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
