once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
