Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
handjob tips. give me some.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Pooping to opera.
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