Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Say something about gay babies.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
