Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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