Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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