Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
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there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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