woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
