You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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