I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
