Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
