I feel great
I just peed on a car
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
