is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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