I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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