Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i think i just lost a toe
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
