I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
