he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
