You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
