I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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