so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
