Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
