i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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