one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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