Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
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