I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
