It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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