No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
