can we get nightvision for the apartment?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
