i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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