Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
