woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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