I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize