areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just high enough for therapy.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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