im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
