I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
