Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
