You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
