Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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