the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
