just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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