my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
