I need help removing her.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
