you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
