He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize