Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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