I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
