The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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