I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
