This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize