every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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