Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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