Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
